Furthermore, various experts (Coie
& Dodge 1998; Hartup & Abecassis 2002; Underwood 2003)
observe normal aggressive behaviors in children that parents should
expect. They say young
preschoolers between the ages of two and three “tend to behave
aggressively after parents have set limits”. When preschooler reach age
three, these experts add, they tend to retaliate “in response to
frustration or attack”.
These preschoolers may naturally and reactively “kick or hit”
to attain what they want, these authors say. Older preschoolers, these
experts elaborate, show aggression “in response to peer conflict …,
use verbal aggression”, and aggressive arguments that are more
hostile and noxious to others.
Also, these experts state that as the child reaches age four,
aggression and temper tantrum peak out and then decrease to almost
nonexistent. By the
time the child reaches school age, “individual differences in
aggression appear to be related to family factors such as
socio-economic status, parenting style, and to how children
cognitively process social information” (qtd. in LeCroy
2007).
Most experts seem to overlook the
value of fulfilling one fundamental strong-willed child’s need: play
activity. Ginsburg
Kenneth (2007) of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), in a
study entitled: "The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child
Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds", states that
"free and unstructured play is healthy and - in fact - essential for
helping children reach important social, emotional, and cognitive
developmental milestones as well as helping them manage stress and
become resilient". As
the result of this play activity, the frequency of strong-willed
children’s misbehaviors is significantly reduced.
Even
though there are a few professionals with questionable credentials
in the field of child development, numerous respectable and reliable
experts offer effective parenting methods for parents with
strong-willed children.
One method is offered by the child psychiatrist Stanley
Greenspan at George Washington University Medical School. He explains that a child’s
misbehavior is resulted from the child’s “sensory-motor profile” or
how the child perceives and reacts to the surrounding
environment. He
categorizes the strong-willed child as one of the five overlapping
groups: “the highly sensitive child, the self-absorbed child, the
defiant child, the inattentive child and the active/aggressive
child”. For each
child category, he prescribes a specific parenting style. For example, as the
self-absorbed child is under-responsive to stimulation, he suggests
parents to enthusiastically approach him or her to stimulate
emotions. Other experts
agree with Greenspan about the involvement of sensory problems in a
child’s misbehavior.
However, these experts claim that his focus is too narrow as
the “causes of difficult behavior are complex and intertwined” (qtd.
in Goodnow 1995).
