Another more systematic approach is the five
weeks course of Forehand and Long. To approach a strong-willed
child’s misbehavior, Forehand and Long offer strategies of
attending, rewarding, ignoring, giving directions, and time-out
(57-141). By attending,
parents learn to show that they “notice and are interested in their
child’s appropriate behavior” (74). If this parental behavior is
carried out frequently in a positive home environment without the
habits of giving out directions and questions, attending will
increase the frequency of the child’s appropriate behaviors
(75-77). The rewarding
strategy is designed to ensure that the strong-willed child knows
his parents’ approval of what he or she is doing (87). In this strategy, parents
will occasionally use praises and rewards while attending the
child’s behaviors (87).
While the ignoring strategy is to decrease undesired
behaviors (103), the strategy of giving directions is to show
parents how to give clear directions, and avoid chain directions,
vague directions, question directions in such a way that will
increase the likelihood of the child’s cooperation and obedience
(111). Lastly, the
time-out strategy is discussed due to its exceptional and
clinical-proven effectiveness towards noncompliant behaviors
(125).
The effectiveness of Forehand
and Long’s five weeks course is tested further by Nicola Conners,
Mark Edwards, and April Grant (2006) who start a six-week parent
education program based on Forehand and Long’s book Parenting the
Strong-Willed Child for seventy-one families with strong-willed
children. At the end of
the program, parents report “significant improvements in both the
frequency and intensity of child behavior problems … significant
reductions in parenting stress, as well as improvements in their
parenting behaviors, including a reduction in the use of lax
discipline techniques and emotional reactivity in the context of
discipline encounters”. In
addition, these authors say that all improvements are sustained six
months later.
Since
many factors influence the strong-willed child’s behavior, professor
Stephen Duncan of Brigham Young University (qtd. in Megan Northrup)
and Forehand and Long also emphasize the need for parents to create
a nurturing environment for effective “behavior change” in a
strong-willed child (153), improve communication skills, develop
realistic parental expectations (167-182), develop and control their
patience, and manage their stressful lives (183-198). The authors also suggest
parents to build positive self-esteem into the strong-willed child
(199-213) and problem solving skills for the successful future of
the strong-willed child in the society
(215-225).
